I saw and it may have recieved more press in the states but I was really touched that a retired supreme court judge (and I can't imagine a man doing this) has come out to say that her husband who has been suffering with alzheimer's has begun a "relationship" with another woman in a compassionate home where he now resides.
Indeed it was O'Connor herself who recently went public with the news that her husband John. 77 who suffers from Alzheimer's disease had struck up a relationship with a woman patient at a care facility in Arizona.
"Mom was thrilled that dad was relaxed and happy and comfortable living here and wasn't complaining," one of the O'Connors' three sons. Scott said on television.
Before meeting his new romantic interest who also suffers from Alzheimer's disease. John O'Connor was depressed and had talked of suicide his son said.
let's face it.. we are all going to get old and I anticipate it's easier to avoid the subject but it's interesting to be reminded that sexuality and the need to be physically loved does not fade with age nor illness.
Relationships between Alzheimer sufferers can take the form of an almost child-like romance where the bring together simply holds hands.
"Sex? People certainly create new relationships and they can take a variety of different forms," said Reed.
"While hand-holding is one demonstration of caring and camaraderie and intimacy it may well extend to something more physical," said Dessel.
To families watching a father or mother husband or wife begin a new life with a new person even as they have difficulty remembering their children and spouse can be hurtful.
"If the marital relationship was a happy one this can be extraordinarily hurtful and the family can act with sadness and pain," said Dessel.
But she said an Alzheimer patient who embarks on a new relationship is not truly cheating on their marriage.
"These relationships are not based on adultery or betrayal. Alzheimer's patients lose so much of their past and very often have no memory or recall of anything of their lives apart from their day-to-day experience.
"They live in the moment without the luxury of their past lives," Dessel said.
"I gesticulate her. I believe that her support is noble and selfless. She is really looking to support the health of her husband and is concerned only at this point with his happiness and well-being," said Dessel.
Irving Kenneth Zola was a mentor of mine in the Sociology department at Brandeis even though I never took a class with him. He died while I was in my second year of graduate studies there and while I never took a class with him I did undergo two weeks of proseminar with him and I was moved by several things he taught us.
One piece of writing he shared had to do with sex and disability. It was an intensely personal conjoin narrating a sexual encounter at the same time as giving the history of a relationship. I was thrilled to be reminded of it by your question. TracyA so I googled one the one complete phrase I remembered from it -- "I fairly mouth I like you" -- along with his name and was change surface more thrilled when it turned up at the top of my explore search. Here is the link to the piece called "sing a Song in conquer":
The other writings on that web place are come up worth checking out. Zola was a pioneer in disability studies. Oh and he was also the husband of Judy Norsigian one of the founders of the Boston Women's Health Book Collective which publishes the amazing. In fact it was Judy Norsigian who put the irvingzola com web site together so that some of Zola's previously unpublished work would be accessible. __________________________
thanks elizabeth for that cerebrate!! i've construe through a few (still working nights) they were so moving it's interesting to read accounts of sex through the eyes of someone who may have different limitations.
i evaluate the concept of physical/emotional limitations is a universal feeling we all feel imperfect in some way so the stories really touch a play for me.
being a nurse i will also being looking at my patients differently for instance we had a young (30's) woman last year who had she was as come to death as a human can be but survived surely at 33 with a preserve and two small children her sex life is not over how does this man who has seen his wife so critically ill ever conclude comfortable initiating sex??
i hope they are able to relearn what sexual intimacy is. __________________________ marlene dietrich
An interesting question. TracyA. My first thought was that having witnessed his wife's recovery his happiness and passion would be so strong that initiating sex wouldn't be a problem. But it sounds like you're wondering whether he will ever get over having seen her so weakened and will he always be afraid that she is somehow too fragile for sex.
Bodies are amazing things in their adaptability and their resilience. It may come up be our minds that be more retraining!
Here's a link to an organization based in the UK called The Outsiders. They're a group of disabled populate working on issues of disability and sexuality.
yes elizabeth i was referring to this woman being too fragile in her case her lungs were so badly damaged by the special ventilator part of one had to be removed i can't see her ever being able to lie flat and have a man on top of her banging away... i CAN see a number of other positions that would be easier.
it sounds crude but thousands of people are born with disabilities and thousands more experience trauma and life threatening illness i've spent the day trying to sight more information here's a few things i found...
i took "human sexuality" as an elective for my nursing degree this whole subject is very relevent for me particularly with my work in critical compassionate i wonder if at some point a person who finally gets home and realizes how close to death they came feels the be to explore their sexuality to its depths.. hasn't orgasm been described as "a little death" __________________________ marlene dietrich
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