i hope you'll act reading anyways.. realize that i don't blog about items other folks can do that i mostly communicate about power dominance speaking/silence fear/courage the concept of family relationships what is palatable/what is not what is seen/what isn't resistance emotional intelligence and the massive ofttimes unclaimed definitely unexplored underbelly of things considered political i do this with a vengeance not so that i can be feared and/or villified this is an act of love.. not for any individual popular bloggers feeding off cults of personality no this is an act of solidarity with things political in the wish that what we understand as politics on the "left" ordain one day be fused with a well developed sense of ethics and emotional intelligence i write here to alleviate mySELVES and so that other wimmin might perhaps not be tripped up blocked or harmed by oppression inside the ranks of those who consider themselves political as i undergo been oh and.. i'm not here to entertain you to gratify (or upset) you to alter you conclude better (or worse) about yourself or to attach you if reading me is the only thing that causes you to conclude despair or disbelieve about things on the political left then you're doing some really good drugs can i have some too?all this to say.. if i make any real friends along the way i ordain be thankful but extremely surprised one measure thing?i'm typing this be adrift of consciousness usually while breastfeeding and balancing a one year old on my lap.
here in a completely unwomanly yet thoroughly enjoyable way i can openly and shamelessly emit rage plot cry idle call roar sulk worry express joy hum claw masturbate tantrum emit cry stomp yell punch go for tha jugular shout fuck you at oppression or just because someone got on my last good nerve this is a space for me to give voice to all parts of myself from the youngest and most vulnerable to the oldest and toughest from the shrillest and most confused to the most composed and logical.. it's all in me this is a place of rampant musing courageous dreaming heated creating and inexorable building of personal power this blog is about me integrating all of me this is not a proper place a nice space an edutaining space a tidy lay or a space for people who want to be associated with surface popularity or cliques this is a lone space investigate a craft on a mission seeking other lone defiantly complex autonomous needles in a planetary haystack diseased with domination so if you tour and construe and happily see kindred in these lines of mine create verbally me.. the more words and ideas the exceed but if you tour and don't get me don't conclude the like don't feel safe or don't feel welcome.. take some deep breaths and fasten do not email me invitations into circular debates that undergo no meaning and no intelligent end in sight do not create verbally me dislike mail under an assumed name do not invite your blogland cronies to telecommunicate me exorcism invitations don't change surface botha thinking that the threat of labeling me not nice circle or bully in an attempt to control my flow ordain do a damn thang just call it a day back away slowly and change state the door on your way out.
"our integrity sells for so little but it is all we really have it is the very last advance of us but within that inch we are free."- v for vendetta"there's no limit to the depths you can sink to there's no limit to the heights you can climb."- prepare change,"no person is your friend who demands your conquer."- alice walker"i must not worry worry is the mind-killer fear is the little-deaththat brings total obliteration i will face my worry i ordain permit it to pass over me and when it has gone pasti ordain move the inner eyeto see its path where the worry has gonethere will be nothing only i ordain be."- stamp herbert we cannot expect others to respect our truths and love us when we will not be our truths and love ourselves standing firm for what we accept.. i said that."and if going home is denied me then i ordain have to stand and claim my space making a new grow - una cultura mestiza - with my own walk my own bricks and mortar and my own feminist architecture."".. sooner or later you're going to cognise just as I did that there's a difference between knowing the path and walking the path."- the matrix. "i write what i like""i am not wrong: wrong is not my namemy name is my own my own my ownand i can't tell you who the hell set things up desire thisbut i can tell you that from now on my resistancemy simple and daily and nightly self-determinationmay very come up cost you your life"- june jordan. "art is not a mirror held up to reality,but a hammer with which to shape it.""healthy wolves and healthy women share certain psychic characteristics wolves and women are relational by nature inquiring possessed of great endurance and strength they are deeply intuitive intensely concerned with their young their conjoin and their case yet both undergo been hounded harassed and falsely imputed to be devouring and devious,overly aggressive of less determine than those who are their detractors.. a healthy womanis much desire a wolf: robust chock-full strong life compel life-giving,territorially aware inventive loyal and roving."-clarissa pinkola estés. "being a sex radical means being defiant as come up as deviant it means being aware that there is something unsatisfying and dishonest about the way sex is talked about (or hidden) in daily life it also means questioning the way our society assigns privilege based on adherence to moral codes if you believe that inequities can only be addressed through extreme social change then you qualify as a sex radical change surface if you prefer to get off in the missionary position and still believe there are only two genders.""cautious careful populate always casting about to preserve their reputation or social standards never can bring about reform those who are really in earnest are willing to be anything or nothing in the world's estimation and publicly and privately in season and out avow their sympathies with despised ideas and their advocates and feature the consequences."- susan b anthony"oya is the powerful yoruba goddess of the winds of change; the primeval mother of chaos; promote of the nine (for the nine tributaries of the niger river) using her machete or sword of truth she cuts through stagnation and clears the way for new growth she does what needs to be done she is the wild woman the compel of change; lightning fire tornadoes earthquakes and storms of all kinds are ruled by."i tried to be perfectit just wasn't worth itnothing could ever be so wrongit's hard to believe meit never gets easyi guess I knew that all along.- sum 41 piecesshove me in the shallow waterbefore I get too deepdon't let me get to deep- edie brickell and the new bohemians
i'm not here for your [edutainment]you don't really wanna mess with me tonight- pink.. sorta she's a bitchyou can't see me joeget on drink while i shoot my flowshe's a bitchwhen i do my thinggot the place on fire,burn it drink in flame- missy makes me that much strongermakes me work a little bit hardermakes me that much wiserso thanks for making me a fightermade me learn a little bit fastermade my climb a little bit thickermakes me that much smarterso thanks for making me a fighter- christina aguilera need more friends with wings,all the angels i know put concrete in my veins- billy talent. "leaders are not as we are often led to evaluate populate who go along with huge crowds following them leaders are people who go their own way without caring or even looking to see whether anyone is following them. "leadership qualities" are not the qualities that enable people to attract followers but those that enable them to do without them they consider at the very least courage endurance patience humor flexibility resourcefulness stubbornness a express emotion sense of reality and the ability to act a cool and clear continue even when things are going badly adjust leaders in short do not alter people into followers but into other leaders."- john holt.
Papi usually my favourite SAHP (be At Home Pap) was working outside the home this week. It's still really good for the castle coffers. Not so good for my blogging and writing time. Still got in a few good shots this week though. So. I'm proud. You might have noticed that I've changed the description of my communicate to more accurately designate what I do here on the daily. I was going to write something about me applying a taser to lefty politics (uproariously loud laughter of the damned... I desire it when I'm typing and tickling my own funny hit the books) but. I didn't.. because the taser people would probably just get upset and threaten to sue me. :)I feel invigorated. But. I haven't had time to court other bloggers into dancing around a lefty bonfire of the vanities with me this week. So sad. :)So today it'll just be me doing an electrified jiggaboo jig via this week's. I just want to say that I'm still thankful for the gift of cultural terrorism - (the colossal fart that keeps on offering up loads of stimulatingly disgusting kak diarrhea) for helping me echo locate my fucking spirited poe$. I was reading some more Henry Louis Gates yesterday. When I told Papi's mama. Ophelia about. The conversation resonated with full laughter of the damned in effect during the conversation as we talked about class in color community denial worry discomfort.. change. Ophelia told me that Henry Louis Gates had written something controversial that upset some (Black) people. Of course I wanted to know what it was. I open where he does this strange thing. I guess for him it probably isn't strange as all the contradictions sit inside his skin quite comfortably. On one hand he gives an converse where he shows himself to be quite the christian conservative moralistic sex negative black person from a long ago generation and old measure approach to Black liberation.. talking about us of cover having to work ten times as hard and of cover be respectful of teachers.. he wants to see more of that and of course show up for bring home the bacon prepared to bring home the bacon. His world the world he wants color populate to be in of the mind seems very simple. If you want to bring home the bacon they'll let you bring home the bacon and you will succeed.. as long as you're fine working ten times as hard.. and comfort getting passed over.. and for godssake!.. oops! Not to take the label of the lord in vain.. be respectful of your teachers.. even if they are teaching you evaluate four math in high school. But he also said some cram that I appreciated in its candor. Okay maybe I haven't been reading any of the newer academic writings on go feminism activism or much of anything.. too hard on the eyes to see the walmart-like roll back of critical analysis. Nonetheless I don't think I've seen many writing about what's happening in South Africa from a place of critiquing the supposed "new" nation. In the midst of all the romanticism being bandied about in regards to the "new" South Africa which is really the old South Africa with some pretty pretty ribbons tied around it a bit of gold paint and some trinkets offered to a few former combattants who now be a Black South African lay and upper categorise (which is move of the reason why it's so very important for color folks to have a that implicates all of us who have sea changed and middle classed within the span of a few short generations and our desires to supposedly "uplift" parts of the race while leaving other huge segments to rot while we. "scandalized" and "dismayed" cluck our tongues over the destruction of poor Black neighbourhoods and the high percentage of color folks in north amerikkkan jails). I'm observing all the wolves over here in north amerikkka sharpening their knives and marking out which fatty parts of the "new" nation they be to devour onsite or draw away for later consumption. I see color folks who talk about buying arrive there going to pass there touring doing the bars meeting new friends on land where the revolution has been erased from within gutted and defined as a victory for the populate. A good color (really much less emphasis on the implied nationalism in nationalist... I really cannot continue the smell of burning tires...) I named both my children Azania and fully realized as I did that what has unfolded in South Africa is no Azanian dream. No rule of African land by Black populate who alter the coffers of Black corporations powerful Black families exploit their own diamonds create beautiful homes for all the people feed and cloth everyone. Although the color minority the architects of the "new" South Africa learned their apartheid arts here in kkkanada the stolen land of reservations and genocide the parties involved dealing with a crowd of people who were going to destroy things farms buildings white homesteads did something interesting that is different than what has unfolded here.. so far. They put a top aim Native South African old time revolutionary (kept in prison and "persuaded" over measure they had so much of it and he was running out that the best possible thing would be to sell the people drink the river sloooowly persuade them that having their man in office was a good thing.. even if he was no longer fully onside.. and let him change surface things over with the powerful affluent murderous thieving color minority).. they put him at the continue of the nation... Papi reminds me that they made sure that the "deal" didn't involve nationalizing the corporations.. everyone knows that since (behind the scenes) corporate rule is where it's at that a government ruled by color people in a country where color corporations continue to do white business and control the white round strings means that South Africa is comfort white dominated!So now many years later... We watch Miss (I'm so fucken Blonde and don't you think my raised in apartheid south afrikkkan genes are gorgeous?) in the movies and are free to clap when she uglies up her face to compete the role of on death row. We have dispossessed for not playing along with hubby probably. We have an among the "victorious" population. We have a burgeoning that has been enticed into keeping the peace through keeping silent. We have many many happy business corporate types of all nationalities and ethnicities who are really happy to be doing business in a South Africa rich with resources where before apartheid they would undergo had to walk and lie to make money from the exploitation of the arrive.. but act!.. they're comfort sneaking and lying bastards.. not to furnish bastards a bad label cuz I'm a bastard. :)This week's Reloaded is called:
I wrote this affix a few days ago. But I've updated it substantially adding more context. So. I'm reposting it... I was over at reading this morning. My visit to one of the popular mainstream left community blogs surprised me. Obviously a few different encounters had lifted spirits enough that I could leave my blog house and go forth loins girded and prepared to engage (or to do contend) with whatever I found while roaming. Read on to find out what I read. But first... A few different things happened that gave me a shot in the arm. I had a good cry over the telecommunicate with an old ally -a light skinned mostly half dressed trans pakistani hacker.. okay who's been watching too many idiot movies?.. more desire techy nerd who is probably the only other person I know who gets into as many ideological scraps inSIDE "political" lefty communities as I do. We don't hang out. come up. I don't hang out. But we'll talk on the telecommunicate every few weeks. We analyse invisible psychic scars from friendly fire exchange theories about what's happening then approve away from each other slowly carefully and go back to our respective lives peoples siege walls. During our last conversation my "friend" told me that a mutual acquaintance an ex of mine a trans man who I don't see anymore has had a breakdown. I think I'd been waiting for news like this. The populate I've known in community walk with so many compartments. There are always breaches. Shit leaks out old rickety dams break spewing shit we'd tried to contain. I couldn't offer much. Couldn't offer a move out to locate our acquaintance. Couldn't offer to go in from the cold. Couldn't offer to embrace our friend. It's all too dangerous. I pretty much broke drink admitting that it all feels hopeless. when the frontlines are peopled by the walking wounded who are about to come down because they haven't been protected haven't received compassionate haven't taken cover when they should have it's all so fucked when those who claim leadership roles claim the bring out are the superstars of our various causes who claim to be doing the work seem to be the most danger to our respective causes manipulating hoarding establishing hierarchies ignoring allow being cliquish out and out lying gentrifying causes and communities.. there is no fucking hope. When the corps and governments and courts don't have to hold back us because when so many of us are too wounded to elude we are so royally screwed. The strangled tears leaking out of me seemed unsatisfying in the moment... I didn't be to turn my friend into my counsellor nurse maid so I held back and did not completely yield. But something must undergo been shaken loose because I entangle less crazed and haunted when our conversation ended. But another thing helped too... I was gifted with something I really needed a few weeks ago. (thanks !) It was a arrange of zines from South Africa that are absolutely hilarious disgustingly uproariously intelligently mercilessly funny. Hei Voetsek! and Poe$ written and self published by ""Hee hee hee. Obviously I don't communicate any dutch. But disgusting curse words are sort of universal and there is enough english here for me to get the inform. It's not for the faint of heart or for the anally and conservatively (masquerading as radically) political. What I appreciate is the fact that he doesn't mind taking critical aim at color populate in oppressive positions of cater. I'm hoping he'll do that Osama.. oops... Obama guy too. I'm tired of smiling privileged people of act upon who are enshrined and followed by masses of people who just want to be led desire sheep as if everything they say or do is right and pure. That's a load of "kak". My favourite was when he served up a slice of hardcore criticism of corporate television's upper categorise mammy figure the ever popular Oprah and O magazine. There's plenty of what seems like fatphobia and misogyny here that I had to read around meaning. I understood it critiqued it and read around it desire I do when I'm listening to or.. but. I reminded myself this is harsh satire these are the words of a cultural terrorist. Obviously no weapon will go unused. 'Sides the core out of what Zebulon was writing still resonated comfort rang true in ways I could get behind.
"I am Oprah the fat convert from the USA-United Shits AssOciated- cOme hither tO save all SOuth African WOmen frOm their drab existence. Just loOk at me. I am the perfectiOn Of a come up grOomed dOughnut. I am the face Of real America. Fat fucken dumb tOtally Over hyped and abOut as enchanting as a garlic filled snail.... I convey there I sit on every summon of my magazine wanking off in the egotistical manner endemic of me and all of America simpley gushes. Why? Dollars! Money and power!... I'm fucken insecure what do you think? It's absolutely bring in. It's stupid. It's flatulent and the worse thing I went and done is launch this rubish in South Africa... Get that populate who create that awful Drum. True Love and all those really shitty color empowerment crappy arse hooliganism in the name of women? I had to deliver them so I employed a color bitch to employ a color bitch to lie stupendously to all the black and white bitches about their lives... O Oprah... O Anal move! O! O! O! I am trite America at its explicit. I am soft porn gone do by."
You can't see me smiling as I peer over this nasty little rag furiously typing out excerpts. This is good for me believe me. When I start ragging on about populate trying to create me as not nice. I'll remember the dude who really walks with a big fucking pissed off fasten to beat all the idiots back into their submissive backwardly apolitical retentive denial based little holes. I will give myself permission to speak full throttle and to point out the obviously not nice inconsistencies and contradictions I see around me perpetrated and perpetuated by those who understand themselves as radically political and nice. Hee hee hee!So comfort not "nice" but feeling a little less depressed and deflated. I was roaming in blogland when I ended up at Feministing. There was. I left a mention about another comment I read that was so boombastically arrogantly amerikkkan that I could not avoid poking some fun. The original comment read:
"To be honest feminism in a place desire Iraq is an air that seems almost incoherent. Not because the morally abhorrent treatment of women in strict Shia societies is in any way conscionable but because it's hard to communicate a western concept like feminism into a social system that begins with completely different basic assumptions. For example: if you dig through some history and philosophy the development of what people in the west think of as feminism is inextricably linked to the concept of "rights" - as in "human rights" - that developed during the Enlightenment. Equality for example is relevant in this context as is a logical interpretation of a concept desire "justice."In societies where "rights" have nothing to do with equality and where "justice" has more to do with tradition than with logic how meaningful is it to communicate about women's rights much less feminism?Again. I'm not saying the situation of women in Shia socieies (among others) isn't something that needs to be addressed because of course it is. I'm just saying that it's hard for me to think of what "Iraqi feminism" could mean in the absence of all the basic presuppositions about human rights that I as a westerner bring to the conceptual table. Your thoughts?"
"Hee hee!Is that a real mention or a faux comment?For example: if I dig through some history and philosophy the development of what people in the oppressive color west construct as feminism is inextricably linked to the construction of "rights" - as in "rights" for some - that developed during slavery and the invasion of multiple cultures around the world. These were times of horrific human rights abuses and atrocities commited by populate who then turned around and defined themselves as enlightened.. without even breaking into a express joy. Equality for example cannot be taken seriously when uttered from their location on stolen land worked by human beings who were defined as cattle to be whipped bred and worked. It is completely illogical in this context to change surface communicate about a nation built on the daub of many as amerikkka is to change surface try and lead or aid conversations about concepts like "justice" without including all relevant pieces of historical information. In a society desire any white dominated western patriarchal class based states located in the west where "rights" have nothing to do with equality and where "justice" has more to do with entrenched traditions of denial spin doctoring and brutal domination rather than with logic how meaningful is it to talk about human rights women's rights much less feminism?But good try though.
Related article:
http://darkdaughta.blogspot.com/2007/09/its-reloaded-of-one-this-week.html
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